


3V4N

by Zara_Zara



Series: 3V4N [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Computer lab, Fluff, Programmer!Connor, Suicidal Thoughts, This is like pre-pre Treebros, computer AI, discussion of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-05 12:21:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zara_Zara/pseuds/Zara_Zara
Summary: Connor picks up coding over the summer and makes something he didn't think would actually work.





	3V4N

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilentFemme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentFemme/gifts).

It’s the first day of senior year and he’s done. All summer long Connor had been postponing taking his life because of a stupid hobby he picked up. 

Everything besides trying to program an AI took a backseat. He can’t remember anything besides holing himself up in his room and coding. This summer must have been the quietest summer he has had in a long time. There have been less arguments and less biting looks thrown around each other---this is mostly due to how he was usually so tired from spending the day in his room that he didn’t have any energy to bring himself to respond to any prodding questions and passive aggressive statements with little more than a grunt. 

Even if he hasn’t really been all that present around his family that doesn’t mean he hadn’t noticed how they seem to like how distracted he’s been. The more time he spends in his room means the more time they don’t see him; and yet, they also know exactly where he is. So, it’s a win-win for everybody. Fucking hooray for that atleast. 

He still didn’t get his damn door back but at least they let him keep his computer.

* * *

The day had started out as terrible as he thought it would go because the world just likes to confirm how shitty it is. Things were tense during breakfast for some godforsaken reason, Jared Kleinman pissed him off and he pushed Evan Hansen in the hallway (an act for which he’s still kicking himself for because  _ who does that?  _ The poor dude had a cast on too.  _ God, I’m such an asshole.)  _

It’s the end of the school day and he wants to give his program one last try. He’s going to die tonight and he wants to see if the thing he’s spent months on takes pity on him. You know, gives him at least one small thing to be proud of before he kicks the bucket.

Connor enters the computer lab, if the program he made is going to corrupt anything it might as well be a school computer.

Connor plugs his usb drive in and the screen blanks out for a second before a window pops up with the writing cursor blinking in and out—-waiting for him to type something. Ok, that’s good. At least he thinks that’s good, the computer didn’t explode or anything so...

He types  **Hello.**

_ Hello, I am 3V4N. How may I help you?  _

Connor accidentally kicks the desk he’s at and feels his heart beat fast.  _ He did it.  _

**I don’t know.**

It buffers for a second and then:  _ Ok _ .

Something big and golden rises in his chest and it feels a lot like pride---he doesn’t remember the last time he’s felt pride over anything and he’s wheeling at the sensation. Connor sits in silence and stares at the screen, unsure of what to say or ask. He’d been working on this thing for  _ months  _ and now he kind of just wants to put it away because this is kind of overwhelming. He tries to hold onto the feeling of pride but it slips away too fast and then he’s moving without really thinking, moving the cursor to shut it down because apparently he can’t even think of what to do next even when he made this thing himself and that’s kind of pathetic. But then more text appears:  _ What is your name? _

**Connor.**

_ Connor is an Irish name, it means “Hound-lover.” _

**Wow.**

**I don’t like dogs**

_ Do you like cats? _

**No**

_ Iguanas? _

**No**

_ Snakes? _

**No. ** This goes on through increasingly wild animals such as moose and tigers and Connor snorts when it suggests the bignose fish and finally types  **Ok Stop. **

_ 3V4N will take note that Connor dislikes all species of the animal kingdom. _

**I was kidding**

_ What? _

**I was joking**

**What does 3V4N mean?**

_ 3V4N doesn’t have a response. _

**No meaning?**

_ 3V4N doesn’t have a response.  _

Connor momentarily debates typing what he’s thinking but goes for it anyways. He types:  **I’m going to kill myself today.**

It takes so long for 3V4N to respond he wonders if he broke it. 

Finally, it says:  _ 3V4N doesn’t have a response. _

Connor is about to type:  **that’s what I thought. ** But then it continues to type:  _ Connor shouldn’t take his life. _

**Why?**

_ It is irreversible. _

**That’s the point.**

_ You are willing to seek out a permanent solution to something that can be fixed. Nothing is without solution. _

Connor snorts,  **I can’t be fixed.**

_ You are alive. _

**Tragically** . 

_ You are alive. _

**So? What about it? **

_ Then you can be “fixed.” Living organisms are not without fault. _

Connor wants to argue against that but finds he can’t. 3V4N is not wrong. Connor knows he is just  _ riddled  _ with faults as if his entire being is just programmed with a series of error messages that say: Connor.exe has failed to function normally. He may be fucked up but he knows Larry is full of faults and Zoe and Cynthia are far from perfect. They aren’t perfect, none of them, and yet none of them have ever fantasized about what it would be like to just be gone. 

Feeling odd, Connor shuts 3V4N down. He feels so odd the whole day that he actually responds to Zoe’s half-hearted question about his day and says, “It was fine.” He zones out in his room and hardly notices the sky get dark. 

He forgets to grab the bottle of pills he was planning on taking to the park at night, when no one would see him.

He forgets the following night, and the night after that. He doesn’t reach for those pills until he seems to blink and he’s mid-way through November. Through all of that time he had taken to sitting in the computer lab for an hour or more a day and booting up 3V4N. It felt wrong booting 3V4N up at home where things feel more real somehow. 

Each day is a surprise to see what 3V4N replies and with each “conversation” 3V4N seems to run a bit smoother and, at times, mimic Connor’s own speech. 

The best surprise was when 3V4N spontaneously brought up a picture of a tree.

**What’s this?**

_ A tree _ .

Connor smacks his forehead and then realizes that 3V4N said something bordering on snark. When he looks back up at the computer screen he accidentally makes eye contact with someone. The person’s eyes widen and then they duck behind their computer screen. Connor wonders who that was? He vaguely recognized those eyes but they disappeared behind their computer screen too fast. 

Connor hunches down, deciding he kind of wants to hide behind his computer as well because---he doesn’t know why, he just does. He quickly types,  **I know what a tree is. I’ve been outside before. What kind of tree is it?**

_ 3VAN will take note that Connor’s been outside sometime in his life. _

**I’m feeling attacked right now**

_ Should I contact the authorities?  _

**NO**

_ The tree is a magnolia grandiflora (a southern magnolia). Magnolias evolved before bees. _

Connor huffs, that’s kind of interesting but he also has the distinct feeling he just got played and he’s oddly feeling proud of 3V4N.

Moments like these happen consistently and he’s been staying alive more out of curiosity if anything. He refuses to believe he’s stayed alive this long now because he’s unwilling to let 3V4N get abandoned or something.

So, one day when he’s pulling out his things to do some homework because they are actually reading something interesting in English (Hamlet) and he offhandedly checks to see if the usb drive that holds 3V4N is in his bag. His heart stops for a second when he doesn’t find it.

The next couple minutes are a blur as he upturns everything in his room trying to find the damn thing. 

When no corner, no blanket, no sock on the floor reveal anything as to its whereabouts Connor checks the rest of the house and to no avail. 

He lost it. He lost 3V4N.

The rest of the day is utter shit. He doesn’t eat nor do any school work at all. Connor bites his nails and anxiously waits till the next day where he can look for 3V4N in the computer lab.

* * *

The day has finally ended and Connor dashes towards the computer lab, his messenger bag swinging behind him as he turns a corner and flings the door open. 

Inside, he rushes to the computer he usually sits at and his heart already sinks when he does not see it on the table, beneath the desk, clear across the room or at any other computer (because maybe he was wrong?). But 3V4N is gone and the room feels too big and he feels so small. 

Connor doesn’t notice the door opening but he does feel the small tap of a finger on his shoulder. He turns and it’s that kid he’s seen sometimes in the computer lab, Connor has some classes with him. He knows his name, it’s Evan Hansen. He knows him because this awkward and fidgety guy standing in front of him is just like him: a loner, an outsider and invisible. 

Evan clears his throat and shakily raises his hand, “Hi, um, I t-think this is yours?” it’s 3V4N, Connor immediately snatches it out of his hand and looks it over, he sees his hand writing on it in blocky Sharpie letters that say 3V4N. Connor momentarily forgot Evan was even there in his relief but Evan soon rectified that as he hurriedly says, “It’s yours right? I mean I’ve seen you with it here because I come in here to work on stuff too. I h-haven’t been watching you or anything. O wait, that’s k-kind of weird to say isn’t it? I’m sorry, but I really haven’t! I’ve just seen you…” Evan inhales deeply because that may or may not have been said in one breath, and then Evan says, “I’m Evan, by the way. Evan Hansen. I have English and Biology with you.”

Connor has a weird mixture of relief and bemusement coursing through him but he thinks he feels more relief if anything so he says, “Thanks. I’m Connor,” He says this as if Evan doesn’t already know who the school’s stoner and top candidate for school shooter is. 

They kind of stand there awkwardly. Connor tips back and forward on his feet and plays with the strap of his messenger bag as he thinks of what to do now. But then something occurs to him that has his alarm bells ringing in his head, “You didn’t check to see what’s in here did you?” Connor narrows his eyes at Evan. He doesn’t know him and if he’s like anyone else he would have checked to see what’s on Connor Murphy’s secret usb. Maybe he deleted everything? This guy had it for nearly 24 hours after all.

Evan looks shocked, “No! I wouldn’t have d-done that. That’s like an invasion of privacy. No, no, no, no.” 

Connor turns to the nearest computer and plugs it in. It takes a couple seconds, and it feels like hours, but the screen lights up and 3V4N is waiting. Connor sighs and hangs his head, somehow he knew Evan was telling the truth but Connor just  _ had  _ to make sure for himself.

Connor turns towards Evan and sees him curiously trying to get a look at the computer. Evan sees him looking and hurriedly darts his eyes somewhere else. Connor rolls his eyes, “It’s ok, you can come see. It’s not like I have stolen Pentagon files on here or anything.”

Evan quickly shuffles besides him and curiously looks at the computer screen. 

Connor gestures at the keyboard, “You can talk to it.”

Evan raises his eyebrows and nervously gestures at it, he quietly asks, “Like... _ Talk _ to it?”

Connor snorts and a smile starts to quirk at his mouth but he tamps it down, “Yeah, but typing,” he taps the keyboard lightly, kind of feeling excited and kind of feeling shy, “Try it. I mean if you want to?”

Evan nods and types the same thing Connor did when he first talked to 3V4N:  **Hello** .

And like last time, 3V4N responds with the same.  _ Hello, I am 3V4N. How may I help you?  _

Connor watches Evan peer at the computer screen before straightening up and fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Evan says, “I don’t really know what to say.”

Connor remembers the feeling. He says, “Just type that then, ‘I don’t know.’” To be honest, Connor is curious if Evan will get a different response than the one Connor received when he first typed that in. 

Evan does it.  **I don’t know**

_ Ok. _

_ Is this Connor? _

Evan looks to Connor briefly before typing  **No**

SELF DESTRUCT MODE: ACTIVATED.

3V4N SET TO AUTO-DESTRUCT IN 10 SECONDS. 

Evan jumps, “Connor, I’m sorry, did I mess it up?!”

Connor rolls his eyes, “It thinks it’s funny. You didn’t do anything bad.” The timer hits 0 and nothing happens at all except for a stock image explosion. Connor was right. 

_ Who is this?  _

Connor gestures for Evan type in his name and he does, a significant amount of curiosity in his eyes.

**Evan.**

_ Evan: _

_ Celtic: Young fighter _

_ Hebrew: Stone _

_ Scottish: Right handed _

_ Welsh: Young _

“Wow, that’s a lot more meanings than I got for my name.”

Evan blinks rapidly, “I never knew,” He asks, “What does your name mean?”

“Why don’t you ask 3V4N?”

Evan does and 3V4N shares the same thing about the “hound-lover,” except this time a second meaning comes up:

  1. _ Friend_

Connor peers closer at the computer screen, “Huh.”

Evan curiously looks at Connor, “I th-thought you said only one meaning came up?”

“Yeah,” Connor smiles and he lets it grow, “Do you have any other questions for 3V4N?”

“No, I um actually have a question for you? Did you make this?”

Connor suddenly feels embarrassed, maybe Evan thinks this is weird? Wait, since when has Connor cared about what anybody thinks? Let alone some kid he’s never really talked to? It doesn’t really matter so he says, “I programmed it.”

Evan’s face lights up, and Connor thinks  _ wow I did that  _ and Evan is about to say something, but the lab door opens and some teacher pokes their head in, “Boys, the lab is closing early today for cleanup. We’re going to need you to wrap up.”

Evan and Connor nod and the teacher disappears behind the door. 

“Um,” Evan has his head down and doesn’t quite meet Connor’s eyes again, “Thank you for showing me that. I should get going now. Bye.” 

Evan is turning to leave and Connor quickly says, “Lunch.”

Evan’s brows furrow, “Lunch?”

“Yeah, do you...Want to have lunch together, tomorrow?” Connor feels kind of stupid. He was being impulsive again and decided to ask this guy (he talked to for at most 20 minutes) if he’d want to have lunch with Connor (the school’s resident pariah), as if Evan doesn’t have any common sense (which Connor is sure he does because he wears polo shirts---as if that makes any sense at all). 

Evan blurts, “Sure,” as if he didn’t mean to either because Connor thinks he heard the guy’s teeth clack together with the force in which he closed his mouth.

“Ok.”

“Ok,” Evan backs towards the door and bumps into the wall beside it, he flushes a new tinge of pink and stutters a goodbye before fleeing the room. 

Connor is not sure how he should feel about that exit because maybe Evan was scared of saying “no, I don’t want to sit with you” but for the sake of science Connor will see how tomorrow goes. He huffs and types to 3V4N:  **Thanks a lot. Do you know what you’ve made me do?**

_ 3V4N does not know. _

**I talked to someone.**

_ A friend? _

**No**

_ They will be a friend. _

**How do you know?**

The door opens and the attendant steps into the room, “Time’s about up. You’re going to have to---”

A flare of irritation lights up inside Connor, “I know,” he shuts down 3V4N and shoves it in his bag. Connor forgets to check 3V4N’s answer.

But the next day, and the days that follow after, are all answer enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is for SilentFemme! I hope you liked this!! I really liked your prompt idea and it was fun to write this for ya XD You're the best! 
> 
> I also hope everyone who read this enjoyed it too! Please forgive how I obviously know NOTHING about computers and programming---it is like witchcraft to me. Anyways, I love writing these two dorks and this was fun lol

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [3V4N: The Novel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21286445) by [Child_Of_Musicals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Child_Of_Musicals/pseuds/Child_Of_Musicals), [Zara_Zara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zara_Zara/pseuds/Zara_Zara)


End file.
